What Clem and I have in common.

So there's Clementine, this mood swing-y, hair color changing, random and impulsive female lead from Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind (ESSM). And then there's Melissa; spontaneous, stupid, careless, silly and talkative. But this is where the differences end and the similarities begin.

I've watched ESSM too many times to tell people around me "OMG she's so ME!!". I have way too many proofs and just..wayyy too many things in common man! Funny thing though, is that when it comes to ACTUALLY pinning them down, I'm at a loss for words.

I'll tell you a few things though. Note that this paragraph comes almost an hour after the preceeding one. Blogs can't tell how much time one spends on them, so my humble fingers do the job. So Clementine erases her memory. Why? Because she thinks he's boring (cue in "aww" for Joel). I can't possibly erase my memory, Lacuna'll cost me a bomb. So what do I do? I deliberately erase him outta my head. It's not as easy as it sounds, and for the time keepers; it took me almost 2 months to do the needful. It's the un-doable. It's tough and it's a bitch of a job. But then, she did it. I was jealous of her. I wanted to be her. I wanted to change memories like she changed hair color. I want to be able to look him in the eye and pretend I never knew him. I'm so effing jealous of her. I want to be Clementine.

Clementine and I suffered from a Mariana trench level of inferiority complex. What I mean is, well we didn't think too high of ourselves as little girls. Remember the "be pretty" doll? Mmm and the impression we both leave on men in general. Same to same. Ditto. Why must she exist in just a movie? I want her to be real. I want her to be my best friend. My twin. Scratch that, I want her to be me. I Want me to be her.

So then there's the obvious bunch of neo-lovers. They want to tell me to keep the memories. Memories are good, they say. Any memory is a good memory. Oh well, WTF right? A bad memory is a bad memory just as a bad apple is a bad apple. Nothing can reverse that. If I'm going to have to live with it, screw it I'd rather just go brain dead.


Oh, and I love oranges. Tangerines. Mmm..get?



To quote her,

"Too many guys think I'm a concept, or I complete them, or I'm gonna make them alive. But I'm just a fucked-up girl who's lookin' for my own peace of mind; don't assign me yours".